dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
