I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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