and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
