If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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