ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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