why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
