Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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