so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
