Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
