i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the day after is always just damage control
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
