Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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