tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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