Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
