I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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