I met the friendliest cop last night
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
