I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
