I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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