I haven't been this sober since birth.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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