It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
