my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
