just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
