No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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