Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
