just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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