I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
