Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize
