Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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