Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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