i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My penis needs a shock collar
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
