Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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