Yo dont text me then not text me
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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