yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
