Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
