the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
