I'm lost and stupid without you.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize