I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I stole a fireplace last night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
