who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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