69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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