If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
