cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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