I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
