I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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