I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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