Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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