I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
