I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
