i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
