i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
