That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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