The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
