I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
