she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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