ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
