can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
