Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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