This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
