it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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