..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
